As Branker approached adulthood, her JIA became classified as rheumatoid arthritis (RA). The condition took a toll not just on Branker’s body but on her mental well-being. “I started to feel very self-conscious, I felt different. In high school, you don’t want to be different, you want to blend in.”
That news 40 years ago surprised Branker’s parents. It was uncommon then — as it is today — to hear of children with arthritis. By the time Branker entered high school, her condition was severe enough to often leave her stuck on the sidelines.
My challenge all the time was, ‘How do I look able-bodied like everyone else?’ What was more important to me at the time was fitting in and doing the job.
Branker urges other with RA to be kind to themselves and to make their health their top priority.
Branker learned how to lean on others. “People were so kind and would help. But it was also hard for me to accept. It always took a chunk out of me.”
“I didn’t want anyone to know,” she says. “My challenge all the time was, ‘How do I look able-bodied like everyone else?’ What was more important to me at the time was fitting in and doing the job.”
“The toughest part was sitting in gym class, watching the students do the things that I used to do,” says Branker, a freelance writer and editor in Toronto. “I was sitting on this skinny bench on the side of the gym for 40 minutes, watching them do the things I couldn’t do.”
Branker switched from blending in to speaking up. She also began to see a social worker to learn how to manage a lifelong illness mentally. “Through that, I developed this understanding that, not only do I need to talk about it, but people need to hear about this disease.”
For each task she can’t finish, Branker is determined to adapt and to gain a new perspective.
“Losing mobility is something that we have to be real with ourselves about. When we lose the mobility, it doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. But at that moment, you have to mourn the loss.”
“All of that started to become comfortable and then normal for me. I started looking at [the physicians] as my team and not just doctors who teach me what to do. That shift helped empower me,” she says.
Branker started her first job out of college as a program assistant at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation just after having surgery on her elbow because of RA. Her duties included lifting and moving items, something her doctor advised her to avoid. But Branker was reluctant to confide to her employer.
When we lose the mobility, it doesn’t mean it’s gone forever. But at that moment, you have to mourn the loss.
The pain and stiffness from RA slowly made impossible the most routine of daily tasks. She could no longer twist her dreadlocks or drive her friends downtown. At her most pessimistic point, Branker simply assumed that she’d eventually lose her mobility and independence.